Playwright, Take two

So, Right on the heels of my first playwriting experience, comes my next play. This one’s a little more upbeat, a lot funnier. It’s a comedy. I call it The Blind Daters, and it’s about … well, blind daters. A guy and a girl in an Italian restaurant who experience a series of blind dates. it should be funny.

so, without much further ado, here’s the opening monologue and the first scene.

THE BLIND DATERS

Joe

Hello, and welcome to my little Italian Restaurant. No, I don’t own it, I’m just the waiter. Joe’s my name, Joe Sharpiro.

You know, I’ve been a waiter here for quite a while now, and I think I’ve pretty much seen it all. I know all about love and dates and all that jazz. It seems like they always come to the Italian restaurant for their first date, or their blind date, or whatever. What is it about Italian food that makes people think of romance? I would say that Chinese food, or maybe even Mexican is just as romantic, when you really think about it. I mean, food is food; it’s the atmosphere you create with your conversation or whatever that makes a date romantic or not, not what you’re eating, but that’s just my opinion.

But you know, Love is a funny thing. I’ve seen so many couple come in here and I’ve seen so many couples leave. Usually they leave with the same person they came in with, but that’s not always the case. And sometimes those that come in together, leave all by themselves. It’s sad, but it happens. And I’m not really sure why it happens. That’s something about love that I’ve never quite understood. Why is it that some people just click right off the bat, and others don’t? Is there such a thing as ‘love at first sight’, or is it a matter of how much effort a person is willing to invest in a relationship? I guess, when I get right down to it, I’ve kinda seen a little of both happen right here in my restaurant. But why does it happen that way?

I don’t know, I’m no expert. But then, I’ve never claimed to be. I’m just a waiter.

(Curtain opens. Scene is an Italian restaurant. Stage is set with two tables, one stage right, the other stage left. On the left side of the stage left table sits James, a young man, mid 20’s. On the right side of the stage right table sits Kate, a young girl, mid 20’s.)

b

(Enter young girl from stage right, crosses to stage left and sits down opposite James.)

James

(Stands as she sits, then sits) So, you must be Ashley.

Girl 1

Um, my name is Audrey, actually.

James

Oh! Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean … I’m just … I don’t know what happened.

Girl 1

Don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal.

James

It’s just that I don’t usually mess up names like that. I’m usually very good about that. I don’t know what happened.

Girl 1

Seriously, don’t worry about it. I’m fine.

James

You’re name is Audrey! I should have known. You look just like her.

Girl 1

Who?

James

Hepburn. Audrey Hepburn, you know? You look just like her.

Girl 1

I don’t think I know who that is? Was she famous?

James

Are you serious? You don’t know who Audrey Hepburn is? She was one of the most beautiful actresses to ever make a movie! I almost guarantee your dad was in love with her, you’re more than likely named after her.

Girl 1

Oh, what’s she done? Anything recent that I would have seen?

James

No, nothing recent, she died in ‘93. But she’s been in some real classics. You know, My Fair Lady and Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Sabrina. Classic films.

Girl 1

Oh, I’ve never seen any of those films. I don’t think I’ve even heard of them.

James

Wow. I find it hard to believe that you’ve never heard of My Fair Lady or Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Girl 1

Are you calling me a liar? I don’t think I appreciate where this conversation is going.

James

No, I didn’t mean that. I just speak sometimes before I’ve really thought it through.

Girl 1

Look, you don’t have to treat me like an idiot, just because I’ve never seen a couple dumb movies with an old, dead chick in them!

James

But, wait. That’s the point. She’s not just an old, dead chick. It’s Audrey Hepburn we’re talking about! Audrey Hepburn!!

Girl 1

Well, I’m not going to sit here and take this. I’m sorry, but I think I should go. (Stands and leaves stage R)

James

Well, that didn’t exactly go as planned. I love blind dates! (sarcastically)

Joe

(Enters, to stage center, maybe holding a tray or something waiter-ish)

Well, It looks like they’ve got nothing in common. Not even Breakfast at Tiffany’s!

(Exits)

Well, that’s it so far, whattaya think? Let me know, i thrive on feedback.

-Teeps, The Bard of Stratford-on-Provo.

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